To be blown away……really!
I have been on a 100 hour high. No drugs, no alcohol, no mushrooms needed.
Just the musical trail of beautiful souls connecting through a simple opening of the heart. 100 hours ago I sat down to write what was sort of a coming out manifesto. And wow, what a revelation. In tune with everything I believe my first blog post triggered a series of comments and events that have lead to an adrenaline rush I have been on and don’t want to step down from.
Fear, love, sadness, happiness, are all emotions we experience on a daily basis, some more frequently than others, some more intensely. Fear, being one of the strongest, causes the body to immediately release endorphins, dopamine and norepinephrine. Endorphins mitigate pain, dopamine triggers an intense rush of pleasure, and norepinephrine affects parts of the brain where attention and responding actions are controlled. The more intense the situation, the greater the release of these chemicals. The greater the release of these chemicals, the greater the addiction-like symptoms.
Well, that’s exactly the walking-on-clouds-high I have been on…only it’s not fear based, and certainly not drug induced. Instead, It is based on a deeply rooted human need for love and connection. If you ask me, this type of do-good-receive-love-adrenaline-junkie-ism is just what the doctor ordered. This is what it would look like (I mean if I really became addicted): I write I get feedback, the more feedback I get the more I write, the more this exchange takes place the more the release of chemicals and……hummm, I am feeling it already.
Let me illustrate…
I was at a dinner Friday night. After blessing the meal, we sat down to eat, drink and converse…suddenly, the host got up, printed my first blog post “why I smile” and asked me to read it out loud. Through the near pin-dropping silent backdrop to my words, six souls met, connected and magic occurred. I could feel the energy flowing through the room when the conversation began. The stimuli was all around…feeding the possibilities and nurturing one another’s needy souls. Ahhh, the deliciousness of receiving exactly that which we crave. Crave being the key word, you see, my pleasure switch “dopamine” was turned on when my need for love and connection was being satiated. Almost instantly I could feel my energy levels increase, my senses heighten, my attention become so focused I could bask in exquisite delight at the smallest details.
Just picture this…Me, the tender-loving-sentimental-sensitive a-tad-volatile very-intoxicating and overly emotive Miriam, only on steroids. That was me. That has been me this week, and I am loving every minute of it!
Granted, this heightening of my sensations is nothing new. I have always been a very emotional person. To make matters worse, I am also very real, transparent, and somewhat melodramatic. These usually “cute traits” have gotten me into quite a bit of trouble over the years, but they have also catapulted me to the creative-mess that makes me what I am. So, believing in myself and armed with a few of my favorite weapons: genuine words coined from experience, a shield woven from the strengthened fibers of overcoming obstacles, gratitude, and of course…my smile. That night at the dinner table I wore my heart out on my sleeve yet again, and lo and behold, my life would never be the same again.
I possess no special powers, perform no magic tricks, and haven’t found a miraculous cure-all-emotional-baggage concoction (although I will keep trying). What I do own is my story, and a heartfelt understanding for the human experience, that’s all, but that’s all I need.
We all have stories to share, we have all traversed the murky waters of…well, living! At some point we lost eye contact with ourselves and now fear getting reacquainted with that inner child. Yet we all secretly know who we are and what we are capable of, the question is, how do we reconnect. And that is what my writing is about…the private face-off and then the search for that intangible stuff that creates bonds and induces highs.
As you can imagine my cherished friend Mr. sleep has not shown up at all. How could he show up and interrupt this life changing love-and-connection induced success rush! So here I am, 100 hours later, no sleep, not much food intake either (which I must confess suits me just fine since I need to get back into my old pair of jeans)…writing.
In Sanskrit there is a word I am enamored with “namasté” it means The Light of God in Me recognizes and honors The Light of God in You and in that recognition is our Oneness. I let down my guard, wrote from my heart, and the unimaginable happened…one by one, people let down their guard and our souls danced.
Humbled. I thank you. I feel you.
And, I am blown away…really!